The cupids.

Sunday, July 3, 2016


This happened 2 years ago when I was taking a stroll with my dad one cold morning somewhere in August before we moved to a new place. We were going to the Spring Lake, the one located exactly in the middle of the woods. Once there, we saw our friend Alfie, a large elephant who was quite preoccupied with his daily activity - picking up leaves. Beside him was a really huge basket.

Dad was friendly as he usually was, so he said "Hello there Alf. How are you today?"
Alfie was a little surprised to see us this early, yet calmly responded "I'm great, as I am every day sir, thank you for asking."

Dad, upon seeing his surprised reaction felt like he was interrupting something, so he just touched my cheeks and signaled me to gulp down the clear water ahead, "as much as you want son," he smiled, awkwardly.

I let down my trunk and started slurping the water, but my eyes were all set on Alfie. I wondered what he intended to do with those leaves he was busy picking up every day. Once Alfie was done picking up leaves, he chunked them all in the big basket, too big I thought I'd be caged for life if I ever ended up in there.

Dad whispered to my ears that it wasn't nice to stare, so he told me that it was time to go. I hadn't quenched my thirst yet but I believed Dad understood because he smirked and ensured me that we would come back when the sun stood over the hills.

When we turned around Alfie suddenly burst into a fit of laughter and we couldn't help it but to turn our heads and see what was going on. "Look! I'm going to climb on these steps and go inside this basket. And,"

there he went, crawling really slowly on those wooden steps,

One step.




Still climbing, he was. It took so long I thought the water was getting shallower.

"And," Alfie uttered out of air for the 30th time,

"Tadaah! I am now inside this basket!" He paused and took a long breath. "But without the leaves, you can't see me for the walls would have covered me. So I had to collect leaves and stuffed the base of this basket. Now you can see my head peeking over this tower! I am a genius. So imagine all of you drinking or doing whatever you want down there and here I am, watching, like a hawk I am though I am not. I am simply genius," and once again cracked at his own joke.

At least that was what I thought, but Dad wasn't smiling. 

Alfie went quiet and then, talking to himself, he questioned if he could move his basket a little to his right because he couldn't see a small part of the lake. My Dad held my back and asked me to walk away quietly.

I asked my Dad why we weren't helping him and Dad whispered to me that some animals would prefer picking their baskets around on their own. I frowned, I knew he couldn't possibly shift his basket alone especially when he was sitting in it!

And as we walked away, I noticed the sun stood over the hills.

P/S: A dedication to those who have forgotten their roots.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Phonecall | Part Two

"Bye Adam. I'll - I guess I'll just wait for -" and the call ended.
"Your call," Adam uttered, once hastily swapped to another call.

"Hi, that was -" a familiar voice greeted him.

"'Fast'? (Laughed) Sorry I was on call with Dian. Hi!"

"That girl again. Adam, you like her don't you?"

"Ma, she's a good company."

"Just admit you still like her. Aiiiyaa," Ma dragged her sigh long, "So much pain listening to this." 

"I'm fine here. (Laugh) thank you for the reminder. So what's up?"

"What can she give you? She looks happy all the time you sure she is sane?" Ma questioned Adam, this time with a more serious tone.

"She is Ma. Happy is good, right?" Adam questioned, this time equally serious.

"Happy is good. But crazy people also happy all the time what," Adam could almost imagine her rolling her eyes while saying this.

"So. I should make sure she's not crazy then I can date her is that how it's gonna go?"

"You sure you wanna go out dating with this lady after all?"

"No! Was just saying things without thinking!" Adam burst a punch of laughter.

Ma decided not to respond. She skipped the whole conversation.

"You eaten already or not? Have money or not? Want me to come over?"

"Aww, I'm blushed all over. Yes to all Ma. I miss you."

"I miss you too. I'll come over now."

"Alright then! See you," Adam replied, with a naughty tone.

"See ya Papa."

And the phonecall ended.







Call me 2morrow. I hv meeting to attend la8r


Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Phonecall | Part One

Adam. Adam, Adam, she mumbled.


The name of a man who stole her heart popped in her head for the hundredth time today.

It had been awhile. 8 days to be exact. 8 days since they last talked to each other.

The previous conversation was hanging unattended.

Or was it not? Dian reached for her phone to check again.

Goodnight, was her last text to him.

It was not replied. Was it even read? Impossible if he didn't. He was always with his phone, she thought to her self. 

 It was an unusual thing for a strong girl like Dian to feel so shaky when it came to people.

She was a great spokesperson. A confident one at that.

But this call she was about to make sent shivers down her spine.

"Hi," a deep voice greeted her at the other end. She gasped.

That was easy, she tipped on her toes.

She turned around, and gracefully glanced at the mirror and saw herself, a thrilled, petite girl.

"Hi," Dian responded, as feminine as possible.

"What's up Dian? Been missing you!" Adam said excited.

"I'm good! Actually, really great! I received an award for being in the top three in my college earlier today."

"Wow, that's great. You're my girl. Of course you'd be on such spree," Dian heard Adam let out a manly giggle.

"Been missing you Adam. Where have you been?" Dian went straight to the point. And then she wondered, was that really the point?

"Been busy baby. I - Hold on. Someone's on the line. Will call you back okay -"

"Okay - " Dian smiled, while looking at the mirror of course. The reflection of her happy face just made her happier.

"Bye baby."

"Bye Adam. I'll - I guess I'll just wait for -" and the call ended.

Your phone call, she whispered to that silly girl in the mirror.

She raised both her arms and fell on her back against her bed. She felt as if heaven had just bent and reached her hands.

And as she was listening to the ticking clock on her side,  darkness collapsed on her again.

But that dim table light shone on her smile.

P/S:  A dedication to a dear friend, whose heart whispers louder than her words.

Monday, June 15, 2015



I grabbed his hand and held it so tight I almost felt like I was hurting him, "Wake up!" I wanted to scream. All that came out was a harsh whisper, half anger while another, sympathy.

I wiped my tears away, feeling sorry for him. He was my only close friend, almost like a brother to me. I couldn't afford to watch him broken and helpless. 

I couldn't possibly live another week looking at him, walking around thinking he was going somewhere when he was clearly not. I remembered when he enthusiastically told me he wanted to be someone new, just several month ago, how he wanted to find someone new to compliment the other half.


When he shared he was going out with some new clicks from work, I knew he had to force himself out of the house. I knew he would later spend the rest of the night on his bed, shedding sour, lukewarm tears on his pillow.

Cock and bull story. 

Everything was a lie. The moment he looked at her picture, I knew he had failed miserably. I wasn't sure which one was more puzzling, the fact that he wasn't going anywhere or this churning mixture of exasperation and regret I was feeling.

He finally looked at me when I tighten my grip. He hesitated. Then held my face softly, each palm on each cheek and finally mumbled, "I want to run away my friend. I do not belong here."

"Stop it. You can't leave me. Why must you leave? TELL ME. Why can't she, leave instead?"

"She's not," he paused, trying to retain his conspicuous sorrow, "leaving anywhere. The longer I stayed, the longer I'm going to get hurt."

I was relieved he finally came to his senses. but I felt cheated. "We are so close, Nate. And now you suddenly decide to break this one for this worthless lady. How is this fair to me?" I pushed his hands away. I knew I was going to be lonelier than I was already now.

"Alma-" he reached for me again.

"It's okay. She won. I failed as a friend."

"Come close to me," he muttered slowly.

As I reluctantly drew myself in his embrace, the summer wind gushed in through the window.

Saturday, January 31, 2015

The Start

One day, with creaky voice, I will finally have the strength to say "Hello" to you, though clumsily. And with a genuine hint of surprise and sparkle in your eyes, you'll smile to me with a simple "Hi". Little did I know that you have always wanted me to make the first move, after years of bumping awkwardly into each other. With summer wind in your hair and falling leaves around us, we recklessly fall deeper in love. That's how the story of us begins. 

The Start.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Bedtime 04 | Solah.

Everywhere she went, she’d be making a lot of friends despite of their background. She had the gift of the gab they said. She was a decent, religious person, but still had time to go all-crazy with her close friends. Her name was Sarah. She was my friend too.

I adored her in my college years. Her expressions always cracked me; and she always had these peculiar ways of thinking, mostly effective and intelligent. One thing that affected me greatly was the fact that she loved Islam; she followed exactly what the religion had to offer. I remember the night she told me that when Rasullullah s.a.w was still alive, he went to the sky and requested God to lessen the amount of prayers Muslims had to perform. It used to be countless, now Muslims are left with only 5 times of prayers a day. For that reason, she claimed, she never skipped her prayers. “Isn’t it simple?” she convinced me. I used to watch her sujud and cupped her hands at nights, waiting for her on my bed before we could share our secrets of the day.

Things changed when she began meeting a few guys she got to know over the internet. You can guess what happened as time got old. To ask her why, I dared not. Once we graduated, we kept in touch, but were physically apart for 6 years.

Last two months I was at her place. Not for a little reunion. No, no, it was her funeral. Every friend she made in college was there. And every single person shed tears looking at the body which was once full of life - now was cold and lifeless. Her mom passed me her thick journal, on the cover it said;

“For Ruby Only. Private and Confidential”

I spent weeks to finish reading it. She wrote that she was disappointed with her iman, and she was scared that I might hate her for that. She kept a record of the solah she had missed, and was aiming to redeem them. She had redeemed quite a lot according to the record, but she didn’t have enough time for all.

My heart sank in the deepest core I never knew I had in my chest. She only had 2 years and a half of prayers left to redeem. I, had a lifetime of prayers.

"I bear witness that there is no God but Allah and Muhammad is the messenger of Allah"